is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The adults are the big ones right?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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