I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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