My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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