fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize