it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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