Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
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Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
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No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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