I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm both gender and math confused
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
