You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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