fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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