Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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