Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
When did angry sex become our thing?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
