How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
