I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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