Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
