look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
