Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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