Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
