Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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