Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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