ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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