you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
