Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she peed on how many people?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
