Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
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The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
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I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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