She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
