I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
