Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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