Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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