i think my mom watched the whole time
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
