therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
