im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Operation Purity has been aborted
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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