Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
