it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
