woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
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