I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I take back everything I said about communal showers
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
