Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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