it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
