I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize