Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
this must be what syphilis tastes like
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
