C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
