More tranny stories later!
I CAN MOONWALK!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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