Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
