dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You're a waste of cheezeits
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
FUCK WHALES
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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