Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
should my penis look like a turkey
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
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