We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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