8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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