There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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