GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
