Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
