i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
