this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
