Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
