I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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