at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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