The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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